Do you remember the wild excitement and passion of a new relationship? All couple who are married remembers this fondly. The intense excitement of an early relationship is actually biological in nature. Did you know our bodies trigger a dopamine release when something new happens? When you visit a new country, or meet a new person, our brains trigger a release of excited hormones. So, it’s no surprise this dopamine rush decreases over time. And that’s okay. In it’s place is the warm, familiar, emotional connection. But, once-in-a-while, wouldn’t it be nice to have the excited passion back? It could even put your relationship back on the right track.
Ban technology from the bedroom. We get a lot of letters and comments from couples that have lost a connection. We almost always find an abundance of technology as the root cause. Nowadays, we bring our phones, laptops, and tablets to bed with us. We’re sending last minute emails at 11pm, or binging on the new Netflix series. It kills the romance and pushes couples apart at this crucial intimate time of day. The evening is a time for couples to reconnect and switch off. Put a ban on phones and laptops in the bedroom. Trust us, it works every time.
Set date nights. The one thing that kills the spark between couples is routine. You’ll remember we explained about the dopamine rush. Well, when you stick to the same routine, there is nothing new or exciting. You’ve got to go out there and trigger that spark, aka chispa. Make time for each other outside of the usual routine. But, don’t just go to that same old pub or restaurant. Try something new, like you would on a first date!
Learn the perfect kiss. After a while, you and your husband fall into a pattern. The same sexual routine, the same peck on the cheek before work. Bring the passion back to life with an unexpected passionate kiss. We’re talking about an exciting ‘first-date’ kind of kiss! There’s a blog we follow called The Dating Advice Guru; their latest post is on the art of kissing. Learn it, and surprise your spouse with a deep, passionate kiss when they get home from work tonight.
Spend time apart. It’s true what they say; absence makes the heart grow fonder. When you’re stuck in the same routine, it’s easy to lose that chispa. Spending a little time apart could be just what you need to bring it back. Schedule a girls’ weekend at the spa or send the boys off for a few days. That time apart is enough to create a feeling of longing or desire. Remind yourself what it’s like to feel to miss each other.
Try something new. As a couple, it’s really important that you keep trying new things. In all aspects of life. Take regular trips to new places. Try new restaurants. Experiment with new things. That’s why the chispa was so strong in the first place!
As a long-term couple, it’s important that you don’t chase that original spark. Instead, try to find new ways that set you alight. Keep trying new things, all you’ll keep it burning.
Photo by Azrul Aziz
Mia Guerra
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