Have you ever wondered if you are just not good at relationships? There seems to be constant battles to get your point across and occasionally you question if you are speaking a completely different language?
Regardless of the relationship, a parent, child or spouse, there are some simple and effective ways you can make life a little simpler. Best thing of all? You’re probably already using these at work everyday.
Arguments seem like the best focus, because we all have them and we all hate them. The problem is, when we are upset or feel someone has been unfair, we often get cross. Anger tends to mean we have no control and this is when things are said or done that can be really damaging.
In the Armed Forces they are trained in conflict resolution; they are taught the skills to calm down angry or scared individuals. One of the first things we need to master to help with conflict resolution is NLP. Neuro-linguistic programming is essentially a behavioral technology, which simply means it is a set of guiding principles. It teaches us how others respond or act to different situations. It is one of the core foundations written in just about all ‘how to be the best salesman’ books on Earth. So if you work in sales, you will already be an expert on managing relationships. Perhaps you aren’t applying it?
NLP is how our thoughts, emotions, and actions are connected. It works by teaching you new skills and behaviors, plus it’s a powerful tool to help you improve your life. It not only allows you to see and think things differently, it allows you to manage your emotions and be in control of how you feel.
Take the issue of tidying up. Imagine your spouse is driving you insane because they leave their dirty clothes all over the bedroom floor instead of putting it in the washing basket. This is great example of couples arguing over the little things, which then escalate and lead into bigger issues. NLP doesn’t immediately help you change your spouse from leaving the laundry ‘outside’ the basket, but it can help you see it differently and not let it annoy you.
The other side is it can also teach you how to make your spouse to want to put their clothes in the basket without asking; so no conflict but you get what you need.
NLP can help you improve the way you relate to others, your listening skills, the way you empathize with others and how to really respect other points of view. It isn’t going to work if you don’t both have the drive to improve your relationship and really work towards a happier future, but if you’re willing to put in the hard work to improve and ensure better communications with your partner, this will in turn lead to a healthier, happier relationship.
Within the family, using NLP will help you work on relationship fallouts and could even help repair a feud that has been going on for years. So take a look at how you are using this at work, then apply it to your home life too.
Photo by Tanja Heffner
Mia Guerra
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