The word divorce… a noun and a verb. It’s not something we stand for, nor do we want anyone to go through. It’s a sad event, full of difficult questions to answer. Are you ready to end your relationship? Can a divorce go smoothly? How are the kids going to handle the process?
Once a relationship ends whether it’s due to abuse, infidelity or other chaotic situations, it is over; still, even if a divorce is inevitable, it is good to be prepared for the battle ahead. Where divorce is concerned, a little bit of knowledge can go a long way.
No One Wins Their Divorce Case
When relationships end, there is a lot of bitterness. Even when both parties know it is for the best, you still have animosity toward your soon to be ex-spouse. Consequently, divorce can turn into a battle that both sides want to win. It is important to get it into your head from the beginning that there is no winner. You both have to come to a compromise that is best for you individually and for the children, if there are any involved. Trying to win the divorce will not help anyone through what is already an incredibly challenging time in your lives.
Divorces Are Not How People Paint Them
Perhaps some divorces have similarities, but, on the whole, every divorce is different [which means you shouldn’t listen to people that tell you what to expect]. Anything can happen when divorce is involved. In the beginning, you might be resigned to the fact that you dislike your partner and are never going to talk to them again. After a couple of weeks, though, you could soften and come to a compromise. Take your divorce as it comes, not as people tell you it could happen.
Lawyers Are Essential
A great divorce lawyer will turn the worst period of your life into one that you can handle. It will still be demanding and difficult, but it won’t be suffocating or smothering. Divorce lawyers have a wealth of knowledge, so they know how to negotiate for justice. It might sound like you are obsessed with money, but focusing on the financial element of a divorce is important. After all, you need a fair amount to help you live your life in the future. More importantly, they will help take some of the pressure off your shoulders. The blend of experience and expertise mixed with a human element is what makes a lawyer great, regardless of which part of the law they practice.
Court Is Not Everything You Think It Is
After their divorce, a lot of people regret going through the courts. Courts are expensive, and they take ages to come to a decision; it is not like the movies. Not only will it add to your expenses, but it will needlessly prolong the process. Consider an alternative to court, such as mediation.
Forget About The Past And Move On
There is a tendency for everyone to remember the bad times. Getting nostalgic is not going to help you get through your divorce. In fact, it will only ensure that you continue harnessing negative emotions like misery, bitterness and anger.
Finally, make sure you have reasonable and realistic expectations. If you don’t, things will start to go wrong from the beginning. And… for those who truly don’t want a divorce, there are mentors and wise counsel to help you and your spouse walk toward a healthier marriage. If you believe in your heart that your vows were intended forever, there is hope. Get in touch with us and we will guide you in the right direction.
Photo by Luke Pamer
Mia Guerra
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