Victory can be multifaceted—we can win a battle or we can win the war. I don’t know about you, but I want to win the war! When God gave me victory over depression, it wasn’t a temporary happiness dependant on my circumstances; but a radical heart transforming and permanent change in my life. I didn’t just overcome a difficult time, God made me into an overcomer. It is my desire for every person, not  that they would taste victory in their life; but that they would know Victory—He has a name, Jesus! Ephesians 6:12 says, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

When my daughter was born with severe health issues about 18 years ago, I found myself in a difficult place. In addition to being a wife and a mom, I was a 24/7 nurse to Abby. Her health was fragile and it seemed that hospitalization and the threat of death loomed on our horizon daily. With that was a lurking fear. A person’s response to times like that can take many forms and a growing and darkening depression colored my days.

In those early years of Abby’s life I would have told you that it was my circumstances that I wanted and even needed to overcome. If only her health would improve… if only I could get more than a few snatches of sleep in the night… if only there were someone to help me or who understood. Funny thing about living in the ‘if only’ stage of life, victory doesn’t live there. But, one day God spoke a different ‘if only’ to me. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

He said to my heart, if only you would believe my Word then you would have hope. I had to choose that day because God had presented me with a choice—either His Word was true or my thinking was true; but they both couldn’t be true because they were opposite in nature. I couldn’t be depressed and think that my life was ‘the worst’ and at the same time embrace the Words of Jeremiah and claim that these days were part of God’s plan to prosper me and bring me hope. That day I chose life and truth through believing God and his Word. I was freed. I had overcome. And the interesting thing was that I realized the reason I had not had victory before was that I was fighting the wrong battle.

I thought my fight was against my circumstances when really the war was waging in my heart. I thought depression was my diagnosis, but in my freedom I could see that it really was the fruit that grew from the root of sinful self-pity in my life. When I was freed, I was freed not only from depression but also from self-pity. God gave me victory in the war and not just in the daily battle. Once free, I could see that in my self-pity I was making myself big and seeing God and his ability as being very small. When I took Him at his Word, I could see clearly that those roles were wrongly reversed.

For more of Chris Mcmahan, and the many faces of perseverance order your copy of the November | December, Overcoming Issue here.